c't < webdev >

The empire of bad code is gaining ground, and neither the rebels of refactoring nor the guardians of good taste appear to stand a chance. So if we can't beat them… why not simply join the dark side and do our best to write the WORST possible JavaScript function? This session dissects eight outrageous lines of technically valid JavaScript that showcase just how bad things can be if one puts in the work. We gain access to usually inaccessible objects, dip into the primordial soup of ancient APIs, and combine all of the above with the latest and greatest of ECMAScript features—only to create an abomination so wicked that even ChatGPT could not hallucinate it. On the way we can't help but learn a few things about JS syntax, object model, and run-time semantics that are not entirely without merit, even for use cases that are not all about subjugating the entire universe for the dark side.

The notion that a person uses only a small percentage percent of their brain may be a myth... but developers do, in fact, not use close to all that JavaScript has to offer! The ECMAScript specifications are full of hidden gems that can be very useful under (very) specific circumstances, yet next to nobody ever uses them, making developer's lives harder than they need to be. But do not worry — this session is here to help!

This talk is a whirlwind tour through absolutely unknown JavaScript features, with a focus on recent-ish additions to the ECMAScript standard. We investigate the garbage collection semantics of revocable Proxies (a subtype of the already under-utilized proxy API), explore the magic of meta properties, build a message passing protocol out of transferable objects (plus a tiny bit of rules lawyering) and gently stretch the semantics of class constructors — just to see what happens.

This session aims to drag a few unknown JavaScript features into the limelight and empower developers to solve some of the more esoteric challenges that can crop up in web development.