2025-11-19 –, Stage 2 (second floor)
The empire of bad code is gaining ground, and neither the rebels of refactoring nor the guardians of good taste appear to stand a chance. So if we can't beat them… why not simply join the dark side and do our best to write the WORST possible JavaScript function? This session dissects eight outrageous lines of technically valid JavaScript that showcase just how bad things can be if one puts in the work. We gain access to usually inaccessible objects, dip into the primordial soup of ancient APIs, and combine all of the above with the latest and greatest of ECMAScript features—only to create an abomination so wicked that even ChatGPT could not hallucinate it. On the way we can't help but learn a few things about JS syntax, object model, and run-time semantics that are not entirely without merit, even for use cases that are not all about subjugating the entire universe for the dark side.
Peter Kröner is a trainer for frontend web technologies. He either spends his days reading dry specifications and fighting buggy browsers or doing workshops on the latest and greatest web standards.